A Different Kind of Christmas

As a child I dreamed of making cookies with my parents, putting candy canes on the tree (eating a few while mom was in the kitchen), Christmas Dinner with ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, and all of those other wonderfully bad things to eat, I remember watching Mickey's Christmas Carol with buttered popcorn, and Hot Cocoa with extra chocolate and more peppermint.

Yet this Christmas is not filled with candy canes, buttered popcorn, or even Extra chocolate hot cocoa. Why? Why is this Christmas so different? This Christmas is the first Christmas my two best men, (my father and Fiance) are going to be healthy. The air not filled with Gingerbread, or sugar cookies, nor is the tree trimmed with candy canes. But Guess what....

It's ok. It does not have to be the candy filled Christmas, or even a Christmas that we eat so much we take a nap after eating. This is a Christmas that my men are healthy, and happy, and they are gaining better lives. For that I am extremely proud. So instead, We make healthy cookies (which by the way, are REALLY good!) we drink Hot Tea instead of Hot Cocoa, we decorate the tree with home made decorations, instead of Candy, and we watch movies eating pretzels instead of Popcorn. Even though it's a different kind of Christmas... It's a good Christmas after all.

Giving it ALL to God

Thus far in my life I have been trying to do everything on my own. I accepted Christ at a young age, but I have not been dependent on Him for my peace. In going through my study of the names of God (an excellent one by the way) I found one and it stopped me. Yahweh Shalom. The Lord is Peace. My God, the ruler of the Heavens and Earth is a God of Peace. He wants me, as His child to be at peace. Where am I?

If you were to create a person that is the opposite of the definition of peace you would probably get me. I prefer my life to be drama free, but when it comes to trials, tribulation, and worry. I take the cake. I worry about everything from family safety, to if I will get an A, from the responce of people, to if I'm pleasing God. It got to the point last year were I would have to take medicine to keep me from getting sick because of my worrying. My dad has always joked I'll have an ulcer by the time I'm 30. I thought he was kidding, but now, he may be right.

I don't even know why I hold back on giving it to God. Pride? Control? Selfishness? Whatever it is, I cannot live like that anymore. I am a child of God, the God of peace, and as such I need to begin to give everything to my Father. So, as my siblings in Christ, I am asking you to keep me accountable. Help remind me not to worry, and that my God, my Father, My Lord of Peace has it all in control.

Life

This past week has pushed me to the highs and lows of emotion and spiritual endurance. I have wept for unsaved people, I have laughed so hard I cried, and I have been frustrated to the point of exhaustion. I feel like the opening line in A Tale of Two Cities "It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times..."

Through the roller coaster of the week I found something amazing. I found my self craving church. I could not wait to get to church or to talk to Steve about a passage I read. Sure I knew that God draws us near to himself when we experience hard times, but to experience the pull brings it to a whole new level. God knew the
verses I needed to hear, the smiles I needed to see, and the prayers I needed to say and He worked it out so I could experience all of this. God knows my needs and will supply exactly what I need at exactly the right time.

Dear God, Thank you for drawing me closer to You when I needed you the most. You know me so well. Thank you for giving me the strength to get through this week and the blessing church has become for me. Help me to always remember to draw close to you.

My Family

For most, family means the people you see on Thanksgiving and Christmas, the people who you go see on special occasions. My friends talk about family and I'll hear them say, "I have to go call my mom again. She cant go more than a week without hearing from me." or "My Dad is such a pain sometimes, he has to make sure I'm doing everything right!" It breaks my heart to hear statements like that. To hear people talk about their family as if they are to be put up with.

I call my Mom every other day almost. I talk to my sister at least once a week. As for Daddy and I, well its quite frequent. I'm fortunate enough to have my Uncle live in the area. I meet him every Wednesday night to eat out. I talk to my Uncle in Iowa City on a regular basis. My family means everything to me.

God has blessed me so much with these people. I love spending time with them and enjoying their company. Family time is very important to me. God has blessed me with the most wonderful people to be related to. We don't always get along, but there is one thing that is never absent, and it's love.

Please enjoy your families because we only have a short life on this earth. Each person is a gift from God. Appreciate them, and enjoy time with them. You don't have to like them, but you can ALWAYS love them. <3

Pet Peeve

In reading others writings I find some so helpful and uplifting. I enjoy reading of others day to day activities as well as reading their struggles and successes. Over all I have found one new pet peeve through this. I cannot stand it when people bash their husbands or significant other. My family is sarcastic and we joke about it, but we never post it and make it known how displeased we are with each other.

I'm not married yet, I know, but some of the godly women I follow never rant how their husbands didn't do something, or how terrible they were that day. Although I will not always get along with Steve, I hope I never write about him the way some women do their husbands. He is a gift God has given me and to treat him like that is down right awful.

May I always be thankful for the man You have given me. May I submit to him, and love him. Thank you for everything God. Amen

Unworthy

As I was relaxing tonight, a thought struck me. This though is not profound nor is it new to me, but it hit me in a way I had never thought of it before. I was thinking of my parents. They are paying my way for so many things, clothes, an education, food, and so much more. Why? Why do my parents pay my way, I am such a burdon sometimes. I don't deserve this. I did nothing to earn this. They are paying my way because they love me.

Even as I finished that thought I thought of my Heavenly Father. He has payed my way with His own son's blood. God gives me SO much! He provides food, shelter, loving family and friends, my every need and sometimes even my wants. Why? There is no good thing I have done without the Holy Spirit. There is nothing on my own I could do to deserve even the smallest thing from God, much less Him paying my way to Heaven with Christ's blood.

Unworthy. I feel humbled by everything that is done for me. I have done absolutly nothing do deserve any of this, yet God saw it fit to fulfil my ever need and even some of my hopes and dreams. My God truly is an awsome God. Thank you, God, for loving me.

An Unexpected Present

Yesterday I celibrated my 6 month anniversary with my fiance. He bought me a frozen coffee, one of my favorite drinks, and I bought him a soda. I had also made cards with different attributes on it that spell out his name. Simple gifts are the ones that make up our relationship, and I totally accept that.

Today Steve asked me to meet him for lunch. I get there and in my place is a bag from our bookstore. I look at him and ask what these are for. He smiles and said open it up. I pull out not one, not two, but three books. They are all by Beverly Lewis, one of my favorite authors.

Thank you, God, for blessing me with my sweet, sweet fiance. He pushes me to strive to be more like You. He surprises me with gifts, and spoils me with his love. Help me to be a godly fiance and to encourage him in any way I can. Thank you for loving me so much and blessing me with the life you've given. Amen.